Salvation without Jesus (Jennifer, instead)

After a cram-packed faculty meeting at the school where the train-wreck occured, I had 40 minutes to seek salvation.
I picked up the phone and dialed one of my facilitator buddies and told her I needed some coaching. She spared the time for me and listened to yesterday's catastrophe and consulted a couple references (Reading with Meaning by Debbie Miller and the Harvey Daniels book on Lit. Circles). We shot ideas back and forth and at 9:15, I was left with the how, and quickly went in search of a shared text. With just 30 seconds to spare, I delivered the lesson in the first class and it went well. I deviated a bit from the plan hatched by Jennifer and I, but was pleased with the kids understanding and increased rigor of their questions.
The second room went similarly. We added some depth to their understanding of thin and thick questions, and left them still wondering about the shared text, so that they'd have more fodder with which to banter on Monday.
The part I opted to leave out this time, the Criteria Chart on Thin versus Thick will wait. I'll walk the teachers through this so that they can experience it with their students before next Wednesday when they leave for the summer.
In all, I felt pretty good about what the students took away today. The week was salvaged, I learned from my colleagues, but more than that, my last interactions with students were positive.
I just realize as the suite that I'm typing in echoes of voices-gone-home-on-a-Friday-night. I'm sad. Today marks a bittersweet day. I'm left with an ache in the pit of my stomach as I realize that my boss of three years is leaving,and I (if I receive Board Approval) will be changing positions. I will savor these moments as I type because I know my old boss is still in the building...just knowing that temporarily comforts me. The regularness comforts me. The safety comforts me. I will have all summer to synthesize all that I've learned personally and professionally from her, but for now everything is as it always is. Terri working hard.
I'm thinking, too, that maybe I know why I was so passionate to get my lesson right yesterday. Maybe somewhere in the crevices of my brain I realized that I have one more shot. I don't like thinking this. I'd like to think that I have that same passion to get it right all the time, but this time was distinctly different. My contacts with children and teachers will forever change after today,my last day with teachers and students in this role. I've made some wonderful connections the past three years, and I will miss that. I will also miss the direct instruction of students. I don't handle loss well, and this is truly a loss on many fronts (yes, it's the beginning of something new, too). I think I'm going to have to spend some time lingering in what I'm about to embark upon as well as grieving the loss of my boss, and the welcoming of a new and wonderful individual who will take her position. Talk about growth. I'm stretching professionally and personally. Maybe my salvation still has to come from Jesus (instead of Jennifer.)