Denial...it ain't a river in Egypt

On the eve of my last Elementary Intern experience, I realize that I warped the meaning of the superintendent's holiday break message. She said to take time off to rejuvenate and ramp up for the spring. As I sit here typing, I realize that I may have though I was doing just that, but in reality, I was in a state of denial. By not thinking about the school I'm leaving or the school I'm going to, I robbed myself of the healthy reflection in which I could have been engaged.
Instead, I will go to school tomorrow, with a lump in my throat, that I want to keep down, but am afraid I won't be able to. When I see the Kindergartners walking by in the hall, I will want to scoop them up instead of just waving. I want to stay, but I must go, and I think the thing that bothers me more than I'd like to admit is that they will have impressed my heart more than I will have theirs. In a week's time as they continue their routines, I will be but a memory. Sure, there are a few kids who will miss me more because we connected for some reason, but by and large, I think I'm the one with a heavier heart. They'll move on, and I won't get to be a part of it.
I will miss the spirit of this building, too. A staff tap-dancing on the upper edge of excellence. A staff who takes students as they are, no matter their background. A staff committed to these children and their own professional growth. I could only wish to lead such a building. Before long, this building will see the top spot in their district, and it will have been a result of their unweilding focus on improving, their leadership, and their tenacity. Kudos, Irwin! I will miss you...
As a period to a sentence, I end with the fifth graders in mind, for whom only a breaking-the-rules kind of Haiku seems appropriate:

Irwin is the best

Stay focused on your learning

Accept nothing less

...sounds like the words shouted at Blastoff...it must mean the message is already internalized. So, tomorrow will come, like it or not. I hope to find the peace to steady myself for the huge learning curve I'm about to board; and savor the memories of the learning curve I'm carrying with me