I prayed this morning that I would be able to make it through the day without crying. It's not that I care if the kids see me cry--I think they need to know that adults cry. Moreover, I didn't want them to see me lose control. I was feeling on the verge of one of those cries that won't stop...that, I didn't really want them to see, but I'm not sure why. If it's o.k. for adults to cry, then why did I have to keep it together today, my last day?
The problem is that now I'm paying the price. I welled up a couple times today, and I was so glad that I didn't completely LOSE IT, that I was kind of excited...until I cleaned up the remainder of my desk.
On my drive to meet my husband at one of our favorite restaurants, Los Tequilas, I had lost my appetite. My stomach hurt, and my heart ached a little...then I knew that the price I paid for not losing it today was a bottle that's still going to overflow, but now it will overflow at an unexpected place. For this moment, I'll put a cork in it. I haven't read most of the letters that I got today. I'll wait until this weekend, when maybe I can handle it. I hate loss, but each time it makes me stronger--how dare it!!
Before I sign off, I must say that the fifth graders made my day by writing me a Haiku...oh, yes...you rock...we had so much fun with Haiku, I'm so happy that one of my last memories of them has a Haiku attached to it. Until tomorrow, I'm still an Irwin Rocket. I'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Oh, Ingrid, you will find your resting place at some fine establishment and make your home there. You will always be a rocket though, it will just be in your heart. I wonder if those raging hormones you experienced at the high school are still coursing through your body.
Your poor husband! Is he planning a "business" trip soon?
You will be stronger though!Maybe strength will be your new word for the year?
isn't it amazing how children can place such a deep stamp on your heart. know that after you are long gone, that they too will carry that stamp of you close too! take care-
What can I say? When you left us last year, that is how I felt. It is great to know that you ARE making a difference and God is using you in amazing ways. Just keep traveling the journey set before you and cherish those moments of deep feeling. That means you are truly a person that cares and that is what it is all about! That is why you are where you are. Keep going girl! God isn't done with you yet. Who knows what is just around the corner!
Post a Comment