Evolution of a Tear

Prior to April 28, 1995, nobody could say they saw me shed a tear. The tragic events of that night changed me. My friends and I were left wondering who murdered our dear friend, Shannon. We weren't to find out for another year and a half or so. The recovery was more than I thought I could bear--that's a story of it's own for another day's blog. Through the grief, I learned to cry. Such a simple act for some, but not for this tough cookie. Even my mother said I was stubborn as a kid, and would NOT pinch out a tear.
Though Shannon's death opened the flood gates, I was still what many would call an insensitive wench. Shannon's death taught me to forgive, but I still lacked a certain sensitivity and understanding. That is, until Calvin and Hobbes arrived.
Ever since I found the Bill Watterson characters, Calvin and Hobbes, I knew I would name any pets I ever got after them. So the day came and I got a phone call from Brenda about taking some kitties off her hands. I was unsure, but did it anyway. I was a proud owner of two kittens. Litter mates. Buddies. I picked these two because Brenda said they always played with one another. That was just over 10 years ago.
I rushed home from work just to be with the kitties, to watch them develop, and to allow my heart to grow two sizes. I think my friends would agree that I became less "a-holish" (any former students who may happen upon this, please forgive me, but it's true.) I was like the Grinch after the people of Whoville sang in the empty town square. I learned a love that I didn't know was possible. I now understood a love bigger than myself. I had a new understanding for parents and pet-owners alike (yeah, figure that one out.)
The road since has had it's ups and downs, but my heart has, thankfully, stayed open. It's open, even now, as it breaks. I have cried without shame over my little gray boy... at work, at home, and wherever it struck me in between. Tonight, I put Calvin to sleep. I buried him as the sun set. Half of the formula for my growth now lies in the earth by three trees on the east side of the house. Even though half of the dynamic duo is gone, my heart will stay open. I'll cry. I'll get through it, and I will never be the same. Thanks, Calvin!